Thursday, July 23, 2009

Read this book...

I am an avid reader. I always have been, okay so I slacked off a bit in high school, but still. I read roughly 5-7 books a week, depending on the length of the book and the length of naptime. Thank God the parish I live in (parish is the same as county) has an amazing library and a system when I can search their database online and request books from other branches in the parish, or we'd go broke buying books! So I though I would start writing about a book I read if it was particularly good and I think other people would actually read it.

I just finished 'I Was Told There'd be Cake' by Sloane Crosley It was a nonfiction book and it consisted of short essays written by the author of funny things and times that happened in her life. It was quite funny. I found myself laughing aloud many, many times and making my husband listen to passages I particularly liked.

Here are some of my favorite parts...

"Oregon Trail left lots of room for creativity. It seemed ripe for the misuse. Like a precursor to the Sims, you were allowed to name your wagoneers and manipulate their destinies. It didn't take long for me to employ my powers for evil. I would load up the wagon with people I loathed, like my math teacher. Then I would intentionally lose the game, starving her or fording a river with her when I knew she was weak. The program would attempt and intervention, informing me that I had enough buffalo carcass for one day. One more lifeless caribou would make the wagon too heavy, endangering the lives of those inside. Really now? Then how about three more? How about four? Nothing could stop this huntress of the diminutive plains. It was time to level the playing field with the woman who called my differential equations "nonsensical" in front of fifteen other teenagers. Eventually a message would pop up in the middle of the screen framed in a neat little box: MRS.ROSS HAS DIED OD DYSENTERY. This filled me with glee." - from the essay Bring-Your-Machete-To-Work-Day.

"..We sat in the corner and played M.A.S.H.."You down with O.P.P?!" I screamed along to Naughty by Nature , bounding my awkward twelve year old body off the shellacked floor." Yeah you know me!" Francine shouted back. And I did. And that was seventh grade." - from the essay You on a Stick.

"During the dessert course each one of them gets up to use the bathroom. You do not recollect in what order, but none of them spends a memorable amount of time in there. It's getting late. You hug them all goodbye and walk them to the door...After they leave you begin to scrub chocolate rings from the insides of your bowls. You feel an abrupt pressure on your bladder and you head for the bathroom. Now, living by yourself in a studio apartment, one becomes highly attuned to any minor changes... your senses are heightened. You can immediately detect when something has gone out of whack. Nothing escapes the single-gal gaze. For instance: a perfect cherry sized turn on your bathroom carpet..." - from the essay Smell This

Hope I inspired you to go and pick up a copy today, or check your local library, mine had it.

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